Dr. Rothko (Canis Lupus Familiaris)

Chilling Out with Dogs

Dr. Rothko CLF is an experienced practitioner in one of the oldest known therapeutic approaches, which he calls Grmph™, commonly translated as ‘Chilling Out with Dogs’.

Dr. Rothko explains, ‘for millennia, our two species have helped each other to survive and evolve into the top dogs on the planet. We CLFs helped with hunting and you (HSs) helped with providing food and warmth – thank you for that. Along the way, we also taught you quite a lot about the things that you monkey people can so often loose sight of, such as loyalty, friendship, emotional availability, intimacy, fun, relaxation and being present. You can get so busy with things you feel you have to do (building civilizations, waging wars, inventing things, making money, being important) that you forget the Grmph™ and thus miss out on the being alive (which is great, most of the time, honest!). There’s no doubt that you’re monkey minds are clever and we love some of the things you have done with them (I’m a big fan of your central heating and duvets) but you do seem to be pretty stupid when it comes to simply being content, which, excuse my smugness, we CLFs do really well.

In my practice, I have developed a number of therapies that have proved to be hugely and immediately effective for your tired and fraught monkey minds, delivering a quick dose of Grmph™ and reminding you of what really matters. Firstly, there’s Going for a Walk™, which is always my preferred starting point in any therapeutic relationship and involves my pulling the client out of their confusion and into a nearby park or common. Sometimes, I have to pull quite vigorously to get the client out of their head spin or off the phone. Another tried and tested technique I have developed is Sleeping for the Rest of the Day™, which goes very well just after Going for a Walk™, and involves my entering a state of deep relaxation, thus encouraging the client to stop rushing about and to sit quietly for a while. Although these two form the core of my therapeutic approach, I sometimes also call on Stealing Daim Bars from a Handbag™, Meditating Under Trees™, Getting Soaked and Smelly™, and, my latest addition, Intense Dream Chase Therapy™. Following an integrative model, I tailor my approach to each client depending on the presenting issues but, as stated above, it usually revolves around Going for a Walk™ and Sleeping for the Rest of the Day™. In the rare event when Going for a Walk™ and Sleeping for the Rest of the Day™ are not immediately effective, I usually find that a repeat prescription soon clears the issues up.’

Dr. Rothko CLF is available from 9am to 5.30pm and appointments should be made through his human PA, Ms. Caroline Logsdail MA UKCP.

 
 

 
 


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